Last weekend, I had the honor of playing for the wedding of two sweet friends of ours. It wasn’t the fanciest wedding or the largest wedding I’ve ever played at, but it was definitely one of my favorites. It could be because we are friends with both the bride and the groom. It could be because the bride and groom have become a part of our family over the past couple of years, attending basketball games for our boys, ringing in the New Year with our family, hanging out as part of our pizza and a bad movie night. We’ve seen this couple from the time they met (we knew him first) through their dating, engagement and now they are married! Their wedding definitely suited who they are. It was fun and elegant and charming all at the same time.
I could go into the elegance of the ceremony (kazoos anyone?) and the fun little details from the reception (they are graduates from arch rival colleges), but that wasn’t what struck me the most over the weekend. It was all the love. Everywhere I looked at the rehearsal, the rehearsal dinner, the ceremony and the reception, the love was overflowing. A bit of background…my mom and mother in law can’t stand each other. The never have. Both my family and my husband’s family have quite a bit of bickering so our wedding was just a bit tense at times. In contrast, both sides of the family at this wedding truly care about and enjoy being with each other. Not only that, but within the two families, there is so much love. They jump at the chance to get together for any little thing rather than trying to figure out a good excuse to avoid a family function.
And the truly amazing thing? These two families shared all their love with us. As the musician for a wedding, I don’t often attend the rehearsal dinner, but when I mentioned that we may not go, the bride and groom would have none of it. We are part of this circle of love now and need to be there. I wasn’t really looking forward to it knowing that other than the pastor, we would be the only people who weren’t childhood friends or family. You know what though? They made sure we were part of the family there. We were welcomed with open arms by people we were just meeting. Since R and A love us, their families do also. On a little side note, the mother of the groom had sent out some paper a few weeks before the wedding asking for memories of R and A. She took those and typed the memories into small scrolls which were then read at the rehearsal. They were then put into a memory jar to start adding their own memories to as a married couple. Definitely something I want to do with our boys, starting now.
Now, we do know the groom’s parents and I had the opportunity to talk with them a bit. I shared some of my feelings, my desires to have this family for our boys. The love that we want for them. I asked them how we can do it with the background we have in our families. Their response was that we need to choose this for our children. We need to choose love. We need to let go of the pettiness in our families, let go of some of those hurts and just say, “I choose love.” It needs to start with us as their parents. It means looking at the things we say and do. It’s what this blog is really about, being person I was created to be. A person who chooses love for myself and the people around me.
I start now.
I choose love!